THE THINGS AROUND MY NECK Part 1

Death! Why have you come this way?

In this life, you gain your course

And you stripped me off with my treasure that ray

Come here you coward! You visited me behind a veil

While, I veil myself from the shame of your cause

Your emergence made me know they are behind my course

And now I am watching my life course with pity; I thought…. if only I knew that they love me so much like this, may be death will not take me easily…. may be…just may be! I would not have find solace in my sleep; I said with tears dribbling down my face as if in a competition centre.

Sometimes in life, I wish… if only I could take away my wish now and act as if I never wish such, I fought for so much of what I did not know I had; I thought, as the same sequence played in my mind as if in a playback recorder with nothing missing out. I thought they were the bad fellow but, yes! I now know that am the little dump that play like the saint.

 The day I say goodbye is something I hope it will come like the play “chronicles of Nanian’’….No need to say goodbye because I will come back when all is over….Just like that I thought yet unlike him when I was drifting away no one knows. It was on the 9^th of March, 2015. I just finished having the same argument with my sisters ‘never act as if you care about me; I told them defiantly…I don’t have sisters, I am an orphan; I rushed it out of my throat  like a throat facing an hot yam to be swallowed

 How dare you! My mummy yell from inside, shutting my sisters off words

And that is just it; I said in frustration ’’you have ever been supporting them and I am no fool to know that you are not my mothe…e….I was about to finish with mother when a hot, weight full palm landed on my cheeks…it has edge over me that I beginning to shout in their grip

pleeeaaaaaase hellllp me; I shouted continuously but no one around to help and then I had to help myself. I hate you so much! I yelled and it works like a magic, if I had known I would have said it earlier because she loosens her grip with others doing the same. I ran out immediately to catch my breath outside.

Life is just not fair to me; I thought pacing to and from my father’s compound as the night comes drowsily like a drunkard, the sharp blaring wood of our door, mock my shadow.

 Yinka! Won’t you come inside; my mother called around 10:30pm that the world has gone to sleep; I walk my way through the dark away from our house wishing my father was still alive, my pride will not let me to go back inside where they never like my very existence; my skin, everything says it all, differences!

I walk through the dark to find shelter, since there was no source of light in my area, you might be wondering where in Nigeria, but it is no place than Agbenaje village located in Alimosho area of Lagos State. The name depict where I live and the mistake I did was going out in the night with cases of incessant robbery and the sorry case of the white fairy maidens we call witches and wizard and that is just it…………end scream! I fell and my pot broke, worth so much of life I hindered.

pains upon pains I see in their eyes, Sumbo, my immediate sister’s eyes has become unruly and my younger sister has shut everybody out of her world, their once healthy laughter, hysterical that gives joy I crave to hear, I want to see mum’s face brighten like the morning moon to grace the room; I hope…

Love in their eyes I fail to see that I cause pain to them and battered with my future, how would one live ache and die in ache?

Death! I will come for you; I pronounced as I elope with miseries.